Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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