oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
