Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Randomize
