youre lurking in front of me
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
