I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Randomize
