I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
