went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
