I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
