It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
We got so high we made milksteak
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
