Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
