so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
