Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
