so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
