Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
