making cat noises will not fix the situation.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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