is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
