i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Will exercising make me less horny?
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