So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
