That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Randomize
