Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
