So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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