It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Randomize
