apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
