We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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