Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
