Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
