Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
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