Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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