Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize