i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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