I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
