thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
