I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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