I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
