Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
