Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Are my feet made of real feet?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
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