ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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