life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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