There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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