We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Randomize
