is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
