I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
