So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
