We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Randomize
