This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
i think i just lost a toe
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Randomize
