god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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