i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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