The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
