small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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