so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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