they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Randomize
