Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Randomize
