Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
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