how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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