That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
