who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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