apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
