the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
