my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
