I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
