PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
