Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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