Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
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