But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
